Yesterday Rhiannon got her mouth washed out with soap.
I had given her plenty of warnings, but finally I had heard enough of her saying "du er baesje paa rumpe baesj", which translates from Norwegian to mean "you are a poo on a butt poo" (or something like that). I know she learned it from a certain little Iraqi girl at barnehage, who has terrible manners and does not know how to treat her friends properly. Anyway, I allow her to say it to herself because for some reason she enjoys saying this, but she is not allowed to say it to anyone else. When I washed her mouth with soap, she of course protested and cried, saying "I not like soap". I told her to remember that next time she considered saying naughty things that she is not supposed to.
In other news, Rhodri has been away this whole week and I have been only just hanging on. I still don't feel 100% and we have struggled so much with Rhodri gone. Fortunately, I get a lot of help from our neighbors. Harini comes over in the morning so I can take Bentley out for his business and then start the car so it is warm by the time we get out to it. Then in the evenings, Max or Carina have been coming over to play with the kids while I cook dinner and then one of them comes back later in the evening so I can take Bentley on a walk. We continue to get more snow everyday and while it is lovely and wonderful, it is a bit tiring to have to keep digging the car out and navigate the slippery roads. But its not too bad and we are coping. I have just been feeling very sorry for myself and also a bit grouchy this week :-( At least Rhods is back on Saturday night, but then he is leaving again Monday morning for another week and I am not too happy about that.
6 comments:
I can see how you don't want her saying that but it made me laugh.
I used to like your blog, but I find it very upsetting that you washed your young daughter's mouth out with soap, a physically and emotionally cruel punishment. You are obviously very creative and bright, and love your children - can't you think of something else that would resolve the problem without causing physical discomfort to your child? Teaching your child how to behave correctly does not need to involve physical discomfort. And I'm curious why you chose to blog about it. The way you write about it seems like you thought her behavior was funny and cute, or something, but it's really not funny because your daughter ended up with nasty and uncomfortable soap in her mouth.
You might be interested in www.loveandlogic.com It has powerful ideas on how to teach your children to behave without using ANY physical force.
To previous anonymous commenter: I found your self-righteous admonishment of my sister's parenting techniques to be harsh and degrading. Exposure to this public lashing has jarred my sense of right and wrong. I am confused and humiliated, and I think you owe me and everyone else who read your screed an apology. (Sarcasm intended.)
But seriously, lighten up! Washing a child's mouth out with soap hardly qualifies as "physically and emotionally cruel."
-Eric in Arizona (a scarred, emotional shell of a man)
Well, I was surprised at the anonymous comment about the punishment I have inflicted upon Rhiannon. I have the power to unpublish her/his comments, but I won't. Parenting involves many decisions on a daily basis, and each of us does the best we can. True, soap in the mouth isn't nice. But I will tell you what - it is very effective with no physical damage (not poisonous, not ingested anyway since it was only on her lips) or any real mental damage. I heard her tell her friend that she is not allowed to say 'that' anymore and when her friend asked why, she said "because it is not a nice thing to say to people". She did not say "because I will get my mouth washed with soap". I was impressed with her response at the time since it showed me that she learned the lesson and hadn't dwelled on the punishment itself. But even if she had said the latter, so what? I am open to trying new ways of discipling, and so I will have a look at the website provided. I appreciate learning about new resources. The important thing for me is that my children have good manners and know the correct way to treat their friends, family, and others in their lives with courtesy and respect. And so far, I think they are turning out pretty good (touch wood!).
Hey Lisl - long time reader, first time commenter. Just to say that Kathryn has developed a potty mouth usually involving "poo on yours head". No miracle cure to share or anything like that i'm afraid, just a statement of solidarity. DAJ x
Lisl,
I loved your response to the self-righteous "anonymous". I think you are doing a magnificent job, and I completely affirm your response, not only to the comment, but to Rhiannon's speech. I had my mouth washed out with soap, as did both my brother and my sister (my sister SEVERAL times!!). Speaking for myself, I got the point, and it was a reminder to me to watch carefully the words that come out of my mouth. I did not feel abused or cruelly treated, but loved and cared about that what I had to say was important enough to correct if I was off base.
Love,
Dad
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