Remembering Grandpa Carl

We travelled to Santa Barbara on Friday 5 August by flying from London-Heathrow to LAX and then renting a car and driving up the coast. It took forever to get there but the kids were really good and we made it eventually.

All of my siblings had already arrived to the family home and everyone had been spending the past days grieving, crying, laughing, hugging together. When we arrived we were able to finally participate and it felt good.
Saturday morning, Rhodri and Will joined my Dad's golf buddy Butch for a Memorial round of golf at the normal tee off time of 6am. This time, however, the 3 guys toasted Carl with a shot of whisky at each of the 18 holes. Here they are after the round when we joined them for brunch.. this is something that Carl would have fully approved of and participated in.
All of Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday were spent preparing for Dad's Memorial service which was held on Wednesday 10 August. Other family members arrived on Tuesday and we had a big family dinner over at Grandma Bucky's house that night in preparation for the big day on Wednesday.

Wednesday started with a burrito breakfast (kind of a Gans family tradition) outside in the cool foggy morning air. There were 30 of us present for this.
We had our own family tribute to Carl during which we took turns sharing memories and other things that we treasure about my Dad. We put small rocks into a vase which we then filled with gladiola flowers to take to the main memorial service. We didn't take many photos of this intimate and special gathering, but I did take this one of Rhiannon in front of the scene, with the vase and candle behind her.

The main service was at a large church downtown Santa Barbara. We had been thinking that we would have the Memorial at Dad's church, but then we were advised to move to a larger venue because that church could only hold 300 people and someone said (don't know who because this happened before we arrived) that there might be closer to 700 people coming! It turned out to be a good decision, because there were actually somewhere around 700 people at the service. Don't know the exact number but it was a full house. I know it is soooo not done to take photos at a Memorial service inside a big fancy church, but during the last hymn (Amazing Grace) Tryfan was asleep on my lap so I didn't stand up to sing. I loved the enormous stained-glass windows and the serene atmosphere in the church, and it warmed my heart to see my brothers with their arms around my Mom.

I spent the entire day crying and completely immersed in grief, sadness and gratitude. But it felt good to be allowed to do this and to share him with close friends and family. However, writing about this on the blog and posting pictures doesn't do justice to the magnitude of the feelings and grief that I/ we have been experiencing. But what's a gal to do? Life goes on and so it seems important to try and capture this occasion, however sad and terrible it feels.

Official Obituary

[This was published today in the Santa Barbara News Press]

William Carl Gans, Jr.

1949 - 2011, Goleta

July 7, 1949 - August 2, 2011

W. Carl Gans, a prominent Santa Barbara attorney and mediator, died unexpectedly on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011, at his home in Rancho Embarcadero, north of Goleta.

Carl was born in Wenatchee, Washington, the eldest child of Bill and Bucky Gans – he an engineer and former naval officer from Pennsylvania, and she the youngest child of the Buckner homesteading family of Stehekin, Washington. When Carl was six, Bill took a job with a mining company that saw the family move first to Mexico, and later Brazil, where Carl and his two siblings (Judy and Phil) spent many of their formative years. After attending the Principia Upper School in St. Louis, Missouri, Carl earned a track scholarship to the University of Missouri.

At a church youth conference in 1969, 20-year-old Carl met a pretty young coed from southern California, Deborah "Debi" Wells, and the two wrote to each other during her extended trip through Europe. On her way home, Debi visited Carl, and on their seventh day of dating, after careful consideration, Carl proposed marriage and Debi accepted.

After transferring to UC Santa Barbara in 1970, Carl and Debi made their home in the Santa Barbara area and never left. Over the next 41 years, the couple raised four children, saw the births of two grandchildren, and ran a large and joyous household together.

Carl earned his BS and MS degrees in Mechanical Engineering and began his career at Delco Electronics in Goleta, where he worked for 20 years. As he reached his mid-30s, however, he discovered he had a gift for helping people resolve their differences. True to form, despite the demands of working full-time and raising four rambunctious children with Debi, Carl decided to earn his law degree. He attended night classes at the Santa Barbara College of Law, earned his JD and admission to the Bar in 1989, and never looked back.

For the next 22 years of his life, Carl developed a family law and mediation-focused practice in Santa Barbara in close quarters with his great friends "Chip" Oxton and Georgia Staab, and their loving and loyal staff. For the rest of his life, his professional relationships with his partners, staff, colleagues, and clients would inspire profound happiness in Carl, and a wonderful sense of accomplishment, prompting frequent declarations that he would never completely retire.

An intensely religious man, Carl was an elder at El Montecito Presbyterian Church, where he taught classes in biblically-based conflict resolution. He was also an active member of Peacemaker Ministries and developed a portion of his legal practice around Christian Conciliation.

With close friends and family always near, Carl spent the last years of his life in a glow of personal and professional contentment: working, traveling the world, playing golf, gardening, tending to his chickens, and attending church. On Tuesday, Carl spent his final moments holding the hand of the woman he loved - his adoring wife Debi. A loving husband, father, grandfather, son, and brother, Carl is survived by Debi and their four children (and spouses), Lisl (Rhodri), Heidi (fiancé John), Will (Rebecca) and Eric (Kristin); two grandchildren (Rhiannon and Tryfan); his mother Bucky; his sister Judy and brother Phil; and an enormous community of extended family, dear friends, and respected colleagues and clients. He will be sorely missed.

A memorial celebration of Carl's life will be held Wednesday, August 10th, at 2pm at First Presbyterian Church of Santa Barbara, located at 21 E. Constance Avenue. In lieu of flowers, donations would be appreciated to Peacemaker Ministries (www.peacemaker.net), the Buckner Homestead Heritage Foundation (www.bucknerhomestead.org), and Girls, Inc. of Greater Santa Barbara (www.girlsincsb.org), where Carl was a board member for 20 years.

Grandpa is in heaven now

My precious Dad passed away yesterday.
Or maybe it was the day before still in California.
It's tricky and awful being very far away from loved ones sometimes, and it certainly complicates time lines and chronology.

His passing was a sudden, unexpected, untimely, devastating blow to all of us.

He was an extraordinary person and the most generous and loving father and grandfather that could have ever existed. He touched thousands of peoples lives with his compassion, gentle wisdom, and enthusiastic smile and I'm so grateful that I knew him. I was very, very lucky to have had him as my Daddy.

We told the kids this morning because we changed our flights to come to California a day earlier than planned. We wanted to give them time to digest the news and also to prepare them for people crying and being sad.

Rhiannon burst into tears and said, "So...you mean...that there is no more Grandpa?" And I said, "Well, Grandpa is up in heaven now. He still loves you and can see you. But you won't be able to see him anymore, except in pictures and videos." We all sat on the carpet and cried together and hugged each other for a long time.

A bit later after I had been to the shops with Nia (who arrived the same day as the news and who will be housesitting with her family of Cris, Gabi and Valentin while we are away), and the kids had been for a walk in the forest with Rhodri and Bentley, I checked in with Rhiannon. She told me that she is not so sad anymore, she is happy! "Why's that, Rhiannon?" I said. "Because I've been writing my name in the sky and waving at Grandpa", she said, "Haven't you been waving at him?" "Well, I've been waving at him in other ways but I should probably start doing it so he can see me", I said. Oh my goodness, that touched me.

Blackberry girls

Today Sophie and Oscar came over to play and just hang out while their parents got stuff packed for their holiday trip. We have been able to find a few spots where there are ripe blackberries already and had planned to make a Blackberry-apple crumble for dessert but these two found the berries to be better for face painting!
Here was the general scene: boys taking turns climbing up into the tree to pretend to rescue Tryfan's kitty and girls climbing around playing other pretend games.
After Sophie and Oscar went home, the troops just hung out with Michel. They love playing with him, as you can see in this photo...
We had a really great afternoon and then we all talked by video to my parents on Skype for our weekly get-together in cyber space.

Hever Castle

We spent the afternoon today at Hever Castle, which was the childhood home of Anne Boleyn (former wife of Henry VIII). We had never been here before but it is only 20 minute drive from our house! We only explored a little bit of the place so we have plenty of exploring left to do another time. First we played at the Water Maze...(photo from the castle website)
It was a warm sunny day and fortunately we had read about the maze before coming, so we were prepared with swimsuits to explore in rather than getting clothes soaked.
Then we watched the Jousting Competition, which just happened to be on for this weekend.
I forgot to mention that our wonderful friend Michel was visiting for the weekend. He was friends with each one of us when we all lived in Norway, and now he has just come back from 6 months of traveling around South America and Antarctica! We felt so privileged that he made time to come to spend time with us. Here he is holding Tryfan and watching the jousting.
Here is some jousting action...

After we'd had enough of the jousting, it felt like time to have ice cream and chill out by the lake. We considered renting a rowing boat for 12 pounds and taking it out, but thought we'd save that for another time.
One of the great things about having Michel around was that we could take turns hanging out with him one-on-one or else we could all enjoy together. Here he and Rhodri are leisurely posing by the lake.
Self-take, not the best lighting but at least we are all in it.

Swimming buddies

This week, Rhiannon and Sophie had swimming lessons every day for 30 minutes. Sophie's mum took them on Tues and Wed, and I took them on Thu and Fri. They looked pretty cute with their pink swimsuits and goggles!

Flower power

I read this article and think it is so nice that I must share:
http://www.newsinenglish.no/2011/07/27/oslo-finds-strength-in-flower-power/

Oslo finds strength in flower power

July 27, 2011

Instead of responding with hate and calls for revenge, the vast majority of Norwegians are recovering from attacks on their capital and their youth last week with flowers, hugs, moments of silence and a series of memorial services. An enormous gathering on Monday prompted another spontaneous display of support and solidarity: Norwegians used the roses they’d brought to the gathering to decorate the capital afterwards.

Streets, fences, plazas, buildings, brick walls – all have been adorned with flowers carried by those attending the huge gathering in the plaza outside City Hall Monday evening. At that event, folks were urged through a spontaneous grassroots movement started on the social media site Facebook to bring a single rose. At various points during the memorial, they were called on to raise their roses, giving the impression of an enormous rose garden spread over the sprawling plaza. (The flowers above have been placed outside the Norwegian Parliament.)

Afterwards, the crowd now estimated to have amounted to around 200,000, or nearly half the city’s total population, took their roses and instead of taking them home or discarding them, they started tucking them into fences, on some artwork outside the Nobel Peace Center (photo above), in the ancient walls leading up to the nearby Akershus Fortress, in and around local fountains and squares.

By the next day, the city was simply all dressed up, a colorful contrast to the destruction caused by a lone bomber and gunman’s acts three days earlier. What started on the day right after the blast, with flowers placed outside the Oslo Cathedral, has turned into a city-wide phenomenon that lets Norwegians feel like they’re doing something nice at a time when many feel utterly helpless and full of sorrow. (Above, flowers outside the Parliament, where a special memorial session was due to be held on Wednesday despite the summer recess.)

Many of the flower arrangements contain photos of vicitms, messages of hope and expressions of sympathy, like this one left by a group from Chile. All of the foreign embassies in Oslo have been flying their flags at half-mast since the attacks occurred.

The “flower power” movement also is attributed to the words of an 18-year-old survivor of the massacre on the island of Utøya. She mused that “when one man can show so much evil, think how much kjærlighet (love and caring) we can show together.” Her words are quickly going down in history in Norway because they’re largely credited with helping set the tone for the reaction to the attacks. They’ve been spread via social media, Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg quoted them in one of his many addresses to the Norwegian people during the past few days, and here (photo at right) they’ve been taped up on a wall in Oslo.

All photos, Views and News

Views and News from Norway/Nina Berglund

Old friends refound

Today we went to our Trinidadian friends house to play and have dinner. We used to spend a lot more time together when we all lived in Norway, and since both of our families moved to England around the same time we expected to be able to continue seeing each other but haven't. Different neighborhoods about 45 min drive away from each other, different schools for the kids and just not enough weekend time! But it felt good to reunite with twins Shaun and Sophia and their little brother Liam today. Here are all the kids, strangely sitting on a bench in a picturesque way without prompting...
They played with light-sabre bubble wands and rolled down the grassy sloping lawn to their hearts' content while Candice and I sat on deck chairs and caught up on life.
Candice made a gorgeous soup called Callaloo (or something like that) which consists of spinach, okra, garlic, onion, bacon, cilantro and coconut milk. It is soooo good!

Our first geocache

We went geocacheing for the first time this weekend. So fun!
This is the treasure that we were searching for:
http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?wp=GC17FPH
It does require a trust in the GPS unit which I have to admit doesn't come naturally to me because I am such a map lover! But once I was able to put that to the side and just follow the GPS to the coordinates of our treasure, it was pretty fun. Notice how Bentley is mid-air in pursuit of something in the background!

Teddy Bears Picnic, spontaneous fun, and then sorrow

Today was a long day.
First was the Teddy Bears Picnic with the Nursery forest school, marking the final day of the term. Since the primary school finished yesterday, there were 3 big sisters who came along with their younger siblings to have some fun! Everyone brought their favorite teddy(ies) and we had a little picnic in the forest. Here is the scene:
There is rope strung up all over the place because the "ladies in blue" got some new rope and rucksacks that they wanted to test out. Pretty soon all of the teddies were walking the tightropes between the trees. Here is Tryfan and his precious "Kitty" along with "Mr Monkey" who are trying out the fun.
The morning was soon over and we had friends Neve and Blithe over to our house to play (Neve being in Rhiannon's class and Blithe in Tryfan's). Pretty soon all the kids were nekkid, the hose was on, and we adults (sitting beyond the reach of the hose) graduated from cups of tea with biscuits to glasses of wine with cheese. It was a perfect afternoon.
Sadly it had to come to an end around 5pm because we were off to the cinema in East Grinstead to see Cars 2. But that was fun too because we had never actually gone as a family to the cinema, however it was showing at 5:30pm which is when tummies get rumbly and even popcorn doesn't do the job sometimes...
So we went to a pub for dinner after the film and that's when we saw on the news about the unspeakably horrible things that had just gone on in Oslo. We texted all our friends there to see if everyone we knew was safe (they were) while we waited for our food, and we tried not to talk about what was happening in front of the kids who were happy to have had such a great day.

Sports Day at the Nursery

Today was Tryfan's Sports Day at Nursery school. A lot of preparation went into it, as each year group had made their own team t-shirts. Tryfan was on the 3 year old Elephant team, shown here flirting with one of the few girls in the village...
Here they are getting ready for a big race around the perimeter of the village hall grassy area.
It was fun and relatively short-lived, but the problem was that it felt like the last Friday of the school year and it wasn't -- it was the last Tuesday of the school year. The bummer with this situation was that we still had Wednesday and Thursday to go until Friday. So it ended up feeling like a very very long week.

Cat Center Fun Day

Today was some kind of community fund raising thing at the Cat Center. We met up with our friends Danni & Bryn and their kids Neve and Blithe. We brought Bentley along too, which wasn't as big of a mistake as I thought it was going to be considering it was the Cat center. But anyway, it was absolutely pouring rain at times during this thing. Fortunately we all had our rain kit on. Also there was a bouncy castle with nobody on it, so the kids had a blast jumping in the rain and finding ways of bouncing and sliding off into the grass. Here is Rhiannon mid air:
Then we made some badges, bought some ice cream, and walked back through the forest to go home for a cozy cup of tea and a quiet (and rainy) afternoon.

Rainy Saturday morning

Today we went for a mid-morning amble in the forest with Bentley. It was raining medium-hard but wasn't too cold at all. My strategy has been to repeatedly say with conviction how much I love being outside in the rain, and eventually the kids will start saying this too (if they didn't feel this way originally).
We didn't really go anywhere in particular, just explored. We did spend some time looking for a stream that had flowing water in it, but didn't really find one that was any better than the first one we came upon. So then Rhiannon started digging for mini-beasts and Tryfan continued to climb, swing and jump around. Bentley, in the meantime, did plenty of sniffing and chasing whatever hints of wildlife he found. See if you can spot him in the photo above...
I found myself telling the kids about Stehekin and how the trees there (Ponderosa Pine) are similar to some of the trees here (Scots Pine) except that they smell like vanilla. And the berries here are similar to the berries there... I'm really excited for all of us to get uplake this summer. Yay!

Swimming breakthrough

Today we had a breakthrough on the Tryfan swimming front. He has been going to swimming lessons with Rhiannon for the past several weeks and just screaming the place down with his unhappiness. It is so awful to hear or see, but the swim teachers have been assuring us that we need to not give up, just to keep bringing him to the classes even though he is so upset and traumatised by it. But it has been getting worse and not better...
So this week, we tried a different strategy and it seemed to work. The afternoon started the same: Tryfan refusing to get into swim suit, saying that he hates swimming, that he really really really really doesn't want to go, etc. I said, he gets to choose between two options: (1) keep saying how much he hates it, crying, being sad and angry at having to go to swimming lessons, or (2) think about all the good things that will happen after swimming lessons are over, i.e. have ice cream when we get home, watch a bit of a Star Wars movie, cuddle with his kitty and blanket, etc. So in the car we talked about all the good things that we have to look forward to after this quick 30 min lesson, and he kept crying and saying how much he hates it. I also said that I really wanted to be able to watch him and Rhiannon swimming in the pool so that I could take a photo to show Grandma and Grandpa. And if he was screaming and crying, I probably wouldn't be allowed to stay in the pool area and would have to wait outside (all true, as this happened last time).

Then we arrived and he started acting worse for a bit, but was willing to have arm bands put on without too much resistance. He had a reluctant but brave start and got into the pool But he clung to the side and kept looking at me and starting to cry all over again. I thought I might have to leave... but then! he started smiling and all tears disappeared and he was really having a good time in the water. Yay!

When it was all over and we were on our way back to the car, I asked him what he was thinking about when he was able to stop crying and start having fun. He said that he was thinking about the swimming pool and the water, and that's what made him stop crying. So anyway it was a big success and he claims that he doesn't hate swimming anymore but we will see when the last lesson of the term happens next week....

Sports Day

Rhiannon's school had their annual "Sports Day" yesterday. This is apparently a big tradition in British primary schools! The whole school spent the morning in a nearby sporting field and did not-very-competitive activities in teams. Our friend Danni took these photos of our girl in action:
This photo is from the big race which was dreaded by lots of kids for some reason but which doesn't look too bad since these people at least look quite happy! I love how Rhiannon is smiling and looking straight at the camera.
It was actually quite a fun morning because all of us parents were sort of standing together and chatting. AND it was a gorgeous day so that helped as well.

Pastures Pink

This weekend was a big local event called "In Pastures Pink" which was another charity event! What is it with this week and charity events?!
Anyway, I was working at this event in the children's tent because there were actually 2 children's tents and 1 was for the Forest School part of Chelwood Gate Nursery! So I set up 4 different stations and children could come in here and make stuff.
The centerpiece was a ring of 8 pestle and mortar stations with 4 types of natural materials to make paint out of: charcoal, chalk, sandstone, and stinging nettles -- 2 stations of each type. So you could grind up some raw material into a powder, then sieve it into a pot and add some water. Then make a paintbrush by bashing the end of a small stick and then flaring out the fibers into a brush. And so the 2nd station was an artwork station with loads of different colored and shaped paper and space to create.
Here is a really crappy photo that I took once all the kids started to leave. The remains of the tidy pestle-and-mortar ring are in the middle.
The 3rd station was making beads and/or pencils out of Elder tree cutoffs. I had made some bits of charcoal when we were camping the other weekend (was that really just last weekend?!) so I offered those up for pencil lead use. Since Elder has a soft inside, it is easy to poke through and make hollow - perfect for threading a rope through or stuffing some bits of charcoal into!
The 4th station was making stinging nettle cordage/ rope. That involves basically bashing a stinging nettle plant that has had all of its leaves removed until the inside part of the stem is pulp, then peeling off the outer layer of the stem to become the rope. The final step involves twisting and twisting and twisting the outer layer until it twists back on itself, and voila - done!
The 5th station was making spinners out of hazel coins which had 2 holes predrilled in them (courtesy of Rhodri!). So that involved just coloring the slice of hazelwood and then threading some string through the 2 holes, tying them together, and then trying to make them do fast spinny things.
Phew! I'm exhausted just writing about all of that!
It was a long afternoon which took a lot of preparation and setup, then herds of kids needing supervision while I was by myself looking after these 5 stations. Rhodri came in a few times to help me out and our neighbor through the hedge also helped out a bit, which was very nice. Somehow 5 hours passed and I was really burned out and decided to join the festivities.
We stayed until about 11:00pm although the festival went until midnight. Tryfan took all his clothes off and fell asleep in the car (which was parked right by the children's tent rather than in the parking lot with all the other cars), and Rhiannon was a little dancing banshee all night. It was fun but even after recovering on Sunday, we are all still a bit grizzly from the event.

Extreme Mother!

Rhodri and I had an exciting night last night!
There was a Charity event for the two charities of Children in Crisis and Right to Play which celebrated the recent efforts of Sabine, the Extreme Mother, who trekked across Greenland to raise money for these charities. Here is a photo from her blog..
Now, Rhodri and I are not usually the types who attend these sort of gatherings, especially when they are in ultra-posh neighborhoods such as Knightsbridge and the venue is adjacent to Harrod's! But on this occasion, Rhodri was invited to represent the Norwegian clothing company Brynje, which had outfitted Sabine and her two guides on this expedition, since the normal representative from this company couldn't make it to the event. Ever since Rhodri stopped working for Schlumberger in Dec 2010, he has been starting a business importing Brynje clothing to the UK, so being asked to represent them at this charity event was a great opportunity.

The event was from 6:30-9:00pm and there were about 80 people there, many from the upper echelons of society. The best known personality there was Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson, the Duchess of York. She is the patron and founder of the charity Children in Crisis, so she gave a speech and shared the evening with the rest of us. The evening was mostly just mingling and drinking champagne, eating canapes, and then the speeches by CEOs of the 2 charities, by the Duchess, and then by Sabine herself. Sabine showed a video and then talked about her expedition. After the speeches was the auction, which included such items as Sarena Williams' tennis racquet, a case of special wine, a photo shoot with OK! magazine, and a weekend of cross-country skiing in Norway.

Well, Rhodri bid once on the skiing in Norway but then stopped and the item started to stall out at quite a low (ok, relatively speaking!) price. That's when the auctioneer suggested that maybe the Duchess wanted to come along too? And she agreed to it so the auction price immediately doubled. This was the last item of the auction, so after it all finished Rhodri and I went right over to the Duchess and waited for a chance to speak with her. Rhodri introduced himself as the Brynje rep and asked if she was interested in being outfitted by Brynje for her upcoming x-c ski weekend. She was enthusiastic about it and so she and Rhodri agreed to liaise through Sabine to set up sizes and so forth. How cool is that?!?!?! When we first went up to the Duchess, she held out her hand for me to shake and I'm afraid I was probably a bit too vigorous and squealy-exciteable for the occasion. I just couldn't contain my excitement at meeting her!

I also spoke with a guy called 'Dag', the Finance guy 'Paul' and the CEO 'Koy' from Children in Crisis, and a bit with a Cricket player called Tony (who used to live near where we live now!). And we both spoke with Sabine, of course, and quite a bit with her Norwegian guide Petter. What a great evening! Before catching the train back home, we stopped at a pub to have a pint and wind down a bit.

And where were the kids all this time, you ask? Well, our friends Emma and Rob stepped in yet again and picked up the kids from school, fed and bathed them and let them have a sleepover at their house with Sophie and Oscar! That was Tryfan's first sleepover, in fact, and he was perfectly fine. Hurrah!
Sorry there are no photos to go with this post - I really wanted to take a photo during the evening but just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Camping party in the back garden

We had a camping party on Saturday night with our friends Sophie, Oscar, Emma and Rob!
We set up the tipi/ lavvo and also our trusty Walrus tent and looked forward to 5:30pm when they were due to come over. I had to go to a course all day so Rhodri and the kids ended up doing all the setup work. But the weather was on our side and it was a gorgeous summer evening!
We cooked on the campfire and then all the kids got into their jammies and we put the music on (we had hooked up a bunch of extension cords so that we could bring the stereo out to the very back part of the garden). Here is Rob dancing with all 4 kids on him (Oscar not visible though).
Here is a bit of the scene as the evening got underway...

All the kids slept in the tipi along with Rob and Emma, and Rhodri, Bentley and I had the Walrus tent. Here is the scene as the kids started to "calm down". Yeah, right!
The evening turned into quite a late and fun one, with Rob's brother and partner (who live next door) coming over through the hedge to join us until the wee hours. We listened to some good ol' country/ Americana music and did plenty of dancing and imbibing of adult beverages while the children slept. Yeeeeehaw! Its been a long time since I've/ we've had a dose of this sort of fun and it felt really good.
Here is Rhodri the next morning, smashing beer cans with a brick.
The only unfortunate things during this great gathering were: (1) not many hours of darkness so kids woke up around 5am, and (2) I somehow hurt my foot (I think i fell into a small hole in the grass while we were dancing). So Sunday was a long, quiet, recovering sort of day with intermittent naps and so forth. But it was well worth it!

Friday with Tryfan

Tryfan wanted to dress like a pirate today to go to his afternoon nursery school, so he did!
This afternoon, Rhiannon was going to play at a friend's house and Rhodri was out for a bike ride, so Tryfan and I went to nearby Plaw Hatch Farm to pick our own raspberries. Yum! Its a tricky business picking raspberries because they do like to hide underneath the large leaves and there are some thorns in there as well. But it was a very pleasant afternoon to spend just chatting with Tryfan as we picked 3 punnets full of raspberries to take home (and we also gobbled a few as we picked, of course). Here he is saying "Raspberries!".

Heartbreaking scene

Don't worry - nobody got injured or anything, but I did witness a truly heartbreaking scene yesterday.

I took Rhiannon and Sophie to school on Tuesday morning and as we were hanging around the playground waiting for the school bell to ring, another girl from their class arrived with her Dad. She had a big stack of white envelopes with names on the front, and she was proudly passing them out to people as she saw them. Birthday party invitations!

She handed them out to all the Year 1 (1st Grade) girls and also to Sophie, but not to Rhiannon. Rhiannon sort of followed the girl around and eventually asked her if there was an invite for her, and the girl shook her head no. This particular girl is actually someone that Rhiannon plays with and talks about a lot, so it wasn't like she was a random girl. Rhiannon came over to me with such a sad and shy face - not crying, but so hurt - and asked me why she wasn't invited. I said that I didn't know why, but that birthday party invitations can be a tricky business, especially at school. Fortunately the school bell rang then and distraction took over as the day started for the children.

I had been watching the whole scene unfold while talking to another mother, who happens to be a good friend of the birthday girl's mother. She assured me that it was some kind of mistake and that she would look into it. Strange all the things that pass through a parent's mind at this sort of scene... Is my daughter too bossy and the other kids don't really like playing with her? Did something happen to turn this girl against my daughter? Why would she invite all the girls from the class except one? It doesn't seem right to force a child into inviting someone who she doesn't want to come, so I didn't feel too comfortable about the mutual friend contacting the girl's mother on my behalf. And it probably would not have been an issue if there was some discretion when it came to handing the invitations out, but then again, the father was probably totally oblivious to the whole scene at the time anyway!

The case resolved itself later that evening when the birthday girl's mother came over to our house to hand deliver an invitation and explain the oversight on her part: she didn't realise there are only 2 girls in Reception class, and had told her daughter not to invite any Reception girls except Sophie (who has been friends with the girl for nearly her whole life). All's well that ends well, because Rhiannon was just happy to get an invitation to the party and didn't really care why she didn't get one to start with. But anyway, it was a bit of a drama at the time.